1: You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

2: You sleep with your eyes open.

3: You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

4: The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

5:  You can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer.

6: You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

7: Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

8: You chew on other people's fingernails.

9: The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

10: You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

11: You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

12: You can jump-start your car without cables.

13: You don't sweat, you percolate.

14: You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

15: You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

16: You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

17: People get dizzy just watching you.

18: Instant coffee takes too long.

19: You channel surf faster without a remote.

20: You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

21: You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

22: You short out motion detectors.

23: You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

24: Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

25: You help your dog chase its tail.

26: You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

27: Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

28: You ski uphill.

29: You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

30: You answer the door before people knock.

31: You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.