You know you are addicted to Coffee if...


1: You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.


2: You sleep with your eyes open.


3: You have to watch videos in fast-forward.


4: The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.


5:  You can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer.


6: You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.


7: Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.


8: You chew on other people's fingernails.


9: The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.


10: You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.


11: You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.


12: You can jump-start your car without cables.


13: You don't sweat, you percolate.


14: You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.


15: You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.


16: You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.


17: People get dizzy just watching you.


18: Instant coffee takes too long.


19: You channel surf faster without a remote.


20: You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.


21: You can outlast the Energizer bunny.


22: You short out motion detectors.


23: You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.


24: Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.


25: You help your dog chase its tail.


26: You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.


27: Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.


28: You ski uphill.


29: You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.


30: You answer the door before people knock.


31: You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.


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