You know you are addicted to Coffee if...
1: You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2: You sleep with your eyes open.
3: You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
4: The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
5: You can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer.
6: You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
7: Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
8: You chew on other people's fingernails.
9: The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
10: You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
11: You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
12: You can jump-start your car without cables.
13: You don't sweat, you percolate.
14: You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
15: You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
16: You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
17: People get dizzy just watching you.
18: Instant coffee takes too long.
19: You channel surf faster without a remote.
20: You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
21: You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
22: You short out motion detectors.
23: You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
24: Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
25: You help your dog chase its tail.
26: You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
27: Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
28: You ski uphill.
29: You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
30: You answer the door before people knock.
31: You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
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