You know you are addicted to Coffee if...


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1: You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

 

2: You sleep with your eyes open.

 

3: You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

 

4: The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

 

5:  You can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer.

 

6: You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

 

7: Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

 

8: You chew on other people's fingernails.

 

9: The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

 

10: You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

 

11: You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

 

12: You can jump-start your car without cables.

 

13: You don't sweat, you percolate.

 

14: You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

 

15: You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

 

16: You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

 

17: People get dizzy just watching you.

 

18: Instant coffee takes too long.

 

19: You channel surf faster without a remote.

 

20: You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

 

21: You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

 

22: You short out motion detectors.

 

23: You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

 

24: Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

 

25: You help your dog chase its tail.

 

26: You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

 

27: Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

 

28: You ski uphill.

 

29: You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

 

30: You answer the door before people knock.

 

31: You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

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